The 6th Day- Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger

At HBO Entertainment where I work, there are several break rooms with several TVs that all play what is on HBO. Sometimes this is a good thing, and other times this is a bad thing. HBO is known for having really quality original programming such as "The Sopranos," the "John Adams" miniseries, and "The Wire," however these are only on HBO at certain points in the day. Most of the time HBO shows movies. Movies that shall we say are "less than good quality."

So while the employees are hard at work, reading quality scripts and talking with brilliant writers, sometimes you'll be walking to the break room and see something like "Norbit." This is ironic and funny because it seems like everything HBO strives for gets shit on when they broadcast Eddie Murphy pretending to be Asian. Kinda makes you think "hey, why am I working so hard if I am going to have to share air time with "Alvin and the Chipmunks?"

In any event, the other day I was walking through the break room and "Night at the Museum" was on. I informed a fellow intern of mine how they were making a sequel and he reacted incredulously. "What? Night in ANOTHER Museum? What, Night at the Air and Space Museum?" Then it hit me like Thai food 15 minutes after I eat it. What about "Night at the Museum of Tolerance!"
Imagine with me if when night fell, Ben Stiller was trapped in a museum filled with Hitler, Nazis, hatred, food deprived children, Stalin, Communists, and people who were part of some of the most horrible displays of intolerance and terror mankind has ever known? Along for the ride would be members of the new "Finding Our Families, Finding Ourselves Exhibit" which include, Billy Crystal, Maya Angelou and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. How would Ben Stiller be able to contain and pacify them all? What would Kareem Abdul Jabbar say to Joseph Stalin?

Pretty sick, twisted idea!

Anyway--I was also talking with my friend Evan (we talk a lot) about how Jack Nicholson is crazy. It got me thinking, what would Jack Nicholson be like as a Grandpa? I bet you he'd be the coolest Grandpa ever. This is a hypothetical conversation of what its like in Jack's family.

Mom: Where's Grandpa Jack?
Dad: I dont know, he's an hour late. He said he'd be here.
Kevin (looking down): Is Grandpa not coming?
Mom: I dont know honey, I'm sure he'll come soon.
(Doorbell)
Dad: That must be him!
(opens the door revealing Jack and two smoking hot, scantily clad models--one on each arm)
Jack: KEVIN MY BOY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Kevin: Thanks Grandpa! I knew you'd come!
Jack: I havent missed a birthday yet.
Kevin: So what'd you bring me?
Mom: Kevin! That's rude.
Jack: Oh c'mon. The kid knows what he's talking about. Of course I brought you something.
Kevin: What is it?
Jack: Kevin, for your birthday, I brought you....(Tears off both models tops) TITS!
Kevin: Woo-HOO! Grandpa you're the best!

Anyway thats my fantasy. Until Tomorrow---