Day 27- No disrespect to to Lord Byren or Edgar Allen Poe, but I dont believe there is such a thing as a romantic period- BJ Novak

Hey Readers, (Clippy: IT SEEMS LIKE YOU ARE WRITING A LETTER! DO YOU WANT SOME HELP WITH THAT)

Sorry it has been so long since I've last posted. I've been really busy with pre-school school (Maybe not the best way to phrase it). I was staffing an orientation for freshman, doing improv shows, and organizing BJ Novak's show at Wash U. In case you are wondering, the show was HUMONGOUS success. We had between 3-4,000 people (more than half the school) and everyone had an awesome time.

But enough with the excuses. I need to get back to what's really important. What you all care about. Good ol' fashioned Hollywood nonsense. So, without further ado, here it is:

What has happened to "The Frat Pack?" For those of you who dont know, the Frat Pack is the group of comedians- Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Steve Carrell, Owen Wilson, Luke Wilson and Jack Black that often appear in each other's movies and used to mean a big box office opening no matter what time of year it was. Now I know you're saying, "but these guys are still huge stars who can all open their own movies!" But the truth is, that none of these guys (save for this summer's "Get Smart" and last year's "Night at the Museum") have really had a BIG hit since 2006. In fact, the "friends" of the frat pack, most of the members of Team Apatow, are the ones making the big bucks. I have come up with several reasons for this:

1. The Frat Pack are making less movies because studios arent greenlighting them. In general, studios are more cautious than not, so as a high powered studio exec (say...Amy Pascal of Columbia Pictures), would you rather invest $80 million, $20 million of those dollars going to Vince Vaughn, in a big budget movie, after Fred Claus made $50 million and was considered a flop, or would you rather spend $28-$35 million on Seth Rogen's new buddy comedy or Jason Segal's break-up comedy, or Judd Apatow's baby comedy that will most definitely make more than $35 million, and therefore, will make a profit.

2. Audiences have gotten sick of seeing guys like Will Ferrell and Ben Stiller do their normal shtick. No one saw Semi-Pro or The Heartbreak Kid because they have seen those movies before. Or at least, they had seen those characters before. Jackie Moon is just Ricky Bobby + Chazz Michael Michaels + Ron Burgandy, and Ben Stiller's character in Heartbreak Kid was Gaylord Focker + Ruben Feffer (Along Came Polly) + Ted Stroehmann (Something About Mary). Step Brothers made money because it was (well hilarious!) and was at least a little stretch in that Will wasnt playing sports and didnt have a ridiculous haircut/facial hair. Tropic Thunder is working (not as much money as they hoped but still #1 two weeks in a row) because of how original it is. If these guys want to keep working, they've got to keep stretching themselves.

3. Women love Apatow movies. Apatow movies are all about relationships. They have the stuff that guys want (hilarious moments, quotable lines, dirty words, sex) and a lot of the stuff women want (relateable characters, heartwarming moments, semi-romantic stuff). Judd makes movies that guys AND girls like to watch. Why make another "You Me and Dupree" with big name actors (KATE HUDSON! MATT DILLON!) when you can make an actual love triangle movie (Mila Kunis? Jason Segal?) with smaller name actors with smaller paychecks, that people will go to see because of the positive critical acclaim and because of word of mouth.

4. Since they've gotten big, members of the Pack havent starred opposite each other (save for Tropic Thunder). People like seeing Vince Vaughn with Owen Wilson and Will Ferrell, not with Jennifer Aniston or Paul Giamatti. The movies that do well are the ones that star at least 2 of the major members of the Pack.

A couple of things I want to note about "The Frat Pack."

1. Luke Wilson should not be in it. He is in it because of Old School, and because he appeared in Anchorman, but the dude is not funny, does not make good good movies, and is not liked by men. He should be replaced by Paul Rudd because Paul Rudd is awesome and does a lot more Frat Pack stuff.

2. Steve Carrell hasnt really done a "frat pack" comedy since Anchorman. He doesnt do cameos anymore (the one from Knocked Up not withstanding) and therefore I feel like he may have left the group. But I guess only time will tell.

I have always been a fan of The Frat-Pack and actually check the excellent website www.the-frat-pack.com at least once a day so this rant is not anger inspired but rather it is constructive criticism. Here is what I have to say to each member of The Frat Pack:

Ben- I hope you continue to do smart, satirical comedy like Tropic Thunder more than family friendly fodder like "Night at the Museum 2." And you do have lots of pull in Hollywood and your own production company (GO RED HOUR FILMS! I worked there Summer 06!) so I'm sure you can find a balance between the two.

Will- As much as Step Brothers didnt have a plot or deep characters, it was fucking hilarious at parts and I like that. I hope you continue to write your own stuff and find interesting, hilarious, ridiculous shit to do.

Owen--Well you stopped making movies for a while after your suicide attempt, and I hope you are doing better, but I dont think the public will look at your carefree, silly on-stage persona the same again. We'll see how your next movie, starring Jennifer Aniston, goes. Its called "Marley and Me."

Vince- Well, your Wild West Comedy Tour bombed too, so maybe your name isnt as powerful as people think it is. However, you do have another big Christmas movie coming out, co-starring super-star Reese Witherspoon, so I'm sure that will do well and you'll get back on the horse.

Steve- You're doing just fine. But try and do more Apatow and less family stuff. Oh and NEVER LEAVE "THE OFFICE."

Jack- You also are doing just fine. I'm quite looking forward to "Year One" co-starring Michael Cera, David Cross, McLovin and Hank Azaria and directed by Harold Ramis and produced by Mr. Apatow. Keep making the good career choices, balancing smaller, more serious pieces ("Margot at the Wedding") with funny kid stuff ("Kung Fu Panda"). I just hope School of Rock 2 is going to be good....

Luke: The Wrong Brother tried to commit suicide. Stop making movies. No one likes you.

FINALLY- On a "Frat Pack" note, does Elizabeth Banks have to play to girlfriend to every single member of the Frat-Pack and its friends at one point? Lets she, she dated Michael Showalter (not a friend, but a comedian who is connected to the Frat by Paul Rudd) in "The Baxter," she "hooked up" with Carrell in the 40 Year Old Virgin (Do you like to do it yourself?), she played David Wain (connected thru Rudd)'s girlfriend in his internet shorts, "Wainy Days," she played Vince Vaughn's in Fred Claus, Paul Rudd's in the upcoming "Role Models" (which BTW looks FREAKING HILARIOUS!), and Seth Rogen's in the upcoming (no pun intended) Zach and Miri Make a Porno. Seriously, as much as I like her, its getting weird.

It's good to be back everyone.

Until Tomorrow---

PS. Here's one more hilarious BJ Novak joke: "Her body was like poetry. It bored me."

Day 21-Stormtrooper Elvis? Really?

Hey loyal readers. I'm soooo sorry I have been away for so long. This past week was pretty busy and this weekend was jam-packed. Jam-packed with what you say? Well, on Saturday and Sunday I attended the Mecca for geeks. The Holy of Holies for nerds. The Shrine of the Silver Monkey for dorks. Yes. I ATTENDED COMIC-CON. I was one of 125,000 people there to see all the celebrity chocked filled Panel discussions, Q + As, Exhibits, and much much more. I have a shit ton of pictures on facebook which I highly recommend viewing as they have very funny captions and are for the most part, interesting if not exhilarating.

Let me start by saying the weekend was crazy. Insane. I have never seen so many costumes, gross wispy mustaches and back hair in my life. There were weirdos, hot girls in leather, children, grandparents, grandparents in leather and much much more. The way it is set up, there is a giant exhibition hall with all of the booths and stations for every comic book publisher, movie studio, TV network etc. There are also "artists alleys" where comic artists will draw whatever you want and sell it to you for $25 and a handy (minus the handy). Upstairs there are conference rooms were all the panels are held, and all the lines are formed. Downstairs there are the HUGE halls where panels for movies like "The Mummy 3" and "Pineapple Express" are held. There are also giant rooms to play Magic: The Gathering, Pokemon, Yugio etc AND halls that are filled with societies that try and get you to join such as "Star Wars Rebel Fleet Society of San Yisidro" and "Middle Earth Trekkies of Fullerton." There are even artists that will sit and discuss your portfolio with you and talk about what you should work on as an artist.

Now that you have a scope of what Comic-Con is, I will discuss some of the highlights.

1. Seeing storm troopers taking a shit in the bathroom. I walked in and saw one, mask on, coming out of a stall. A little surreal.

2. Hearing Billy West having a conversation between Fry, Professor and Dr. Zoidberg from Futurama. That guy is unbelievable. Also hearing Doug Funnie AND Roger Klotz come out of his mouth brought tears to my eyes.

3. Hearing the guy who does the voice of OLMEC from Legends of the Hidden Temple!

4. Watching Joan Allen talk about why she signed on to the movie Death Race. Surprisingly, she omitted the fact that she was going to be paid enough money to buy 2 new houses in Bermuda.

5. Hearing Jason Statham talk. That dude is just too cool for school.

6. A little girl asked Justin Long in the HUGE auditorium, "do you...umm...actually own a Mac?" He laughed and said he did. Somewhere, Steve Jobs was wiping his brow.

7. Whilst sitting down in the huge auditorium where movies were being discussed, I saw Aziz Ansari from Human Giant walk in front of me. I didnt know why he was there. But then during the "Pineapple Express" session, all of the Human Giant guys lined up for questions. Paul Scheer (the bald one) asked first: "Um...first off, I'm so nervous my butt is so sweaty right now. Um...I saw Frank Miller here. Do you um....know Frank Miller?" Judd responds--No, sorry. Seth Rogen is laughing. Paul: Um...do you know how I can get in contact with Frank Miller. I think he is so coool!" Then Rob Schrab (host of MILF Island) gets up and says, "Hi, I'm also sooo nervous right now. My butt is like, so sweaty. Umm....so Frank Miller is a genius..." and then went on and on to talk about Frank Miller. Finally, Aziz went up and said, "Hi, I'm like soo nervous, my dick is so sweaty and hard right now" and then asked some more funny questions.
Take my word for it, Human Giant is hilarious. If you've never seen anything they've done, go to FunnyorDie or youtube and look them up. I especially love the one with Will Arnett (who I was told by Will's business manager was too embarrassed by it to show his parents). All those guys are going places.

8. Nervously asking my question to the Pineapple Express panel: In Knocked Up you guys smoke up in a variety of different ways. What is the craziest or most creative way you've ever blazed? Answer from Seth Rogen: "The fishbowl scene in Knocked Up is something we did in High School and thought was really cool, but Danny McBride smokes out of his own butt sometimes. And out of a human skull." Danny then agreed!

Side-note: Judd Apatow is hilarious in person. I expected Seth Rogen to be laugh out loud funny, which he was, but Judd is actually the funniest person there. I realize know why he is the king of comedy. He himself is a great comedian.

9. Will Ferrell talking "via satellite" to the crowd for his "Land of the Lost" panel. While at first it actually seemed like he was there, saying hi to people, talking about the movie, even interacting with the cast. Then he started "taking questions." The first person asked, "why did you decide to work on this movie." After a really long delay, Will started laughing and said, "funny you should ask about the sleestacks, they were really a handful to work with...." Then after every question was asked, he'd respond with a wildly incongruous answer. It was really funny.

10. Meeting this guy dressed as the Mad Hatter who talked like the Mad Hatter ALL DAY.

11. Meeting all the guys who used to write for MAD Magazine in the 60s. I used to read all of my dad's old MADs and they all used to be so good. Now they're crap of course, but hearing stories of how the MAD Fold-In started (We thought, Playboy has a fold-out, lets have a fold-in!) was really cool.

12. SWAG. Everywhere I went I got free shit. Free Dwight Schrute poster, Pineapple express car freshener, comic books, pins, "The Flash" and "The Green Hornet" rings, limited edition Iron Man hologram DVD cover, HUMONGOUS Smallville bag, FOX Poster holders and more and more and more stuff. Really a SWAG overload.

It was a physically exhausting day (we got there at 8:30 AM and stayed until 7 PM on Saturday) and by the end of it, my body had just shut down, but it was really fun and if anyone wants to go with me next year, it would definitely be a lot of fun.

On another note, I saw Step Brothers over the weekend and loved it. It was hilarious--the dinner table scene in Talladega Nights was really the type of movie it was; just a bunch of hilarious conversations. I read an interview with Adam McKay (the film's director/co-writer) who said that when him and Will start to write a movie, first they come up with a concept, then they write tons of scenarios or scenes that would be funny in the movie, then they write things they want to see in ANY movie, and only then do they start writing the actual movie/plot. I dont really think this movie made it to the 4th stage, as there was no real plot to be found. HOWEVER, it didnt matter. Most scenes in the movie made me laugh out loud, and every actor really went all out and brought stuff to the table. One of the real scene-stealers was Adam Scott playing Will Ferrell's ultra-successful douchbag, hot-shot brother. My favorite line of his was "Honey. Dane Cook. Pay-per view, 20 minutes!" Hearing Will Ferrell sing opera was also magical. Interestingly enough, the whole movie didnt have as many memorable lines as it had memorable situations.

The one unfunny element of the movie was the constant usage of the word "fuck." The word obviously is not a big deal anymore and I use it colloquially myself, like it is used in Apatow movies. But in "Step Brothers" the word itself was used as a punchline. The first time you heard an adult (Richard Jenkins) say something like, "I dont give a fuck!" it was funny. The second time, when Mary Steenburgen said it, it was kinda funny, but by the third, fourth, and fifth times, it had lost it's shock value. One of the reasons why Anchorman was so popular, was that with the PG-13 rating, they had to make exclamations without using the word fuck. That's why you get phrases like, "Great Odin's raven" instead of "What the fuck!" When, in Step Brothers, the audience was expected to laugh simply because a character said "fuck" in a shocking way, it wasnt funny. The comedy moral of the story is: Use the "f word" sparingly, so when you do use it, it can have a powerful effect. Case in point: "Go Fuck Yourself San Diego."

Until Tomorrow--

ps. If I had known there would be all this talk about "Shes the Man" I would have written a whole post about it. I dont really want to write a whole post about it, so I will say that I do think Amanda Bynes is very talented, very hot (especially in Hairspray), but her one flaw is that as a child, she helped usher in the "overacting/over excited" style while she was on All That and The Amanda Show that every Disney/Nickelodeon actress uses. Especially Hannah Montana.

pps. I think I spoke too soon about Shia LeBeouf having a blemish-free career. That DUI and hand injury is gonna suck for him.

ppps. Hi Cara