Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Day 17- It's Nickeoldeon's Big Help Weekend! Call now and you can listen to a pre-recorded message from...Larisa Oleynik!*

Today is going to be a day of blurbs

Blurb 1- My delicious white chocolate mocha friend Jessica pointed out to me that my little rant of Ciara/Rihanna/Christina Millian could be seen as somewhat offensive. Her exact words on my facebook wall were:

"EEEEEthaaaaaan. racism."

In case any of you loyal readers agree with her, here is what I replied to her:

hold the "r" word for a minute. I said I cant tell the difference between those 3 people because they all SOUND the same, have the same types of songs (1, 2 Step and Please Dont Stop the Music are the same song as far as I'm concerned), and have 1 word names with a harsh A sound--rihanNA, CiaRA, ChristiNA. And the keisha boo part is kinda funny because its true. Please dont get me in trouble, I dont want to have to apologize to Jesse Jackson or anything.

It seemed to mollify her...for now. If you still can find traces of racism in my posts or perhaps think that I myself am in fact a huge bucket of racist, in the future, please dont write it on my wall. Tell me privately and I'll be happy to discuss your concerns.

Blurb 2- If you think you and the people who comment on the posts (Willis, Cor(-e)y, John, Arkin et al) are the only ones reading this blog, you're wrong! In fact (M. Night Shamylan moment #1), this whole time I have placed a tracker on the site which leads me to count the number of hits, unique visitors etc. And guess what--I am averaging about 20-25 hits a day! This past Monday I got 40 hits! Obviously this would not be possible without YOU--my loyal readers, so from the bottom of my scrotum, THANK YOU. Not only is writing for an audience more fun, but it also improves my writing skills! As the old adage goes, "you become a better writer when people are reading." M.Night Shamylan moment #2- That wasn't an old adage at all! I made it up! I think...

PBS MOMENT--If you want to help me improve my writing skills and self-esteem please continue to read and recommend the site to friends, neighbors, co-workers and pets who know how to use the Internet. The more readers I get, the happier I become.
Here is a graph:
So yea. Keep reading everyone!

Blurb #3- Do you really miss Arrested Development? Have you seen every episode at least three times? Does news of an Arrested Development movie make you lactate with glee? Well then I have just the thing for you!

At HBO today I read a pilot script for a FOX Animated show called, "Sit Down, Shut Up." It is created by none other than Mitchell Hurwitz, the creator of Arrested Development! Not only is this one of the funniest scripts I've read so far, but it's got the classic Arrested Development style humor to a T. Now you are thinking--well that's great. But I still miss Arrested Development!

Well guess what? Check out the cast of voices--Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, Henry Winkler! They are all reprising roles VERY similar to their AD personas. And guess who else is in it--SNL's Will Forte and Cheri Oteri. Their parts are HILARIOUS. Guess who else does voices--Nick Kroll (a hilarious comedian) and Tom Kenny (THE VOICE OF SPONGEBOB!) Yep this show is off the hook. By the way it is about teachers at a northeastern high school who "habitually place their own needs ahead of the needs of the students. "It has classic AD flashbacks, cuts, inappropriate behavior, puns, small jokes, big jokes, distasteful characters and much much more. So if you cant wait for the AD movie, get psyched for this show. That is, if it gets on. The writers for it are on strike. It should be over soon though...I hope.

Lastly, since you are such a great crowd, I will treat you to one of my favorite ACTORS WHO ARE THE SAME of ALL TIME:

Kevin Pollack and David Paymer



While these two actors sometimes play different roles, they do look pretty damn similar. Kevin plays smarmy, smug "bad guys" (Usual Suspects, The Whole Nine Yards) while David plays smarmy, smug, nebbishy guys in a position of decent sized power (City Slickers, Quiz Show, Oceans 13). They also both play "overworked dads in way over their head who dont spend enough time with their kids and dont appreciate what they have until some crazy circumstance forces them to realize how they should really spend more time with their families " (Kevin in "House Arrest," Paymer in "Carpool.") Both of them have also done really good work, and really shitty movies/TV (specifically basketball movies--Kevin in "Juwanna Man," Paymer in "The Sixth Man.") When you boil it down to it though, they are both character actors (although Pollack does get characters who are a little more over the top) with ridiculously long credits and receding hairlines.

Until Tomorrow--

*It's not actually Nickelodeon's Big Help Weekend. I just remembered that today and thought it was funny. I actually used to call them and give fake "pledges" just so I could hear people like Jonathan Taylor Thomas tell me I was a cool kid.

3 comments:

Wild Willis said...

Great blurbs, but maybe you forgot Bradley Whitford in your actors who are the same? Perhaps I'm speaking out of turn, and in that case I give you full permission to place a jew-doo curse on me. (My plan is to lure Jessie away from your trail by laying down some r-word tones of my own. You can thank me later.)

Cory Dean said...

It's spelled C-O-R-Y. If you need help again, look to the title of my blog.

Anonymous said...

Tom Kenney was also an amazing member of Mr. Show

Hurtwitz's new shiz sounds great. I'm pumped.

I'm also pumped for Boldly Going Nowhere.