Day 15- "Was anyone else just touched in a very meaningful way?"- Ben Gramer After seeing Wall-E

Alright, I promise that was the last Weird Al related post you'll see for a while. Today I am going to discuss 6 actors who wish they had Shia LeBeouf's career. All of these actors were also child actors that you remember from your youth, but actors who have yet successfully made the leap into adult superstardom.

1. David Gallagher-- He played Simon Camden for ten years on 7th Heaven, was the main tyke in "Look Who's Talking Now," played Richie Rich in a straight to DVD movie, and now is doing more straight to DVD shit like "Boogeyman 2" and (I swear to God) "Freakin Zombies, Man!" I dont feel bad for him, because he is making fuck loads of residuals off of 219 episodes of 7th Heaven that rerun every day on different networks, but I do feel bad that the guy hasnt gotten any real work since his days as the preacher's son. On the other hand, his acting was pretty shitty in the later years (some of his crying scenes after accidentally killing a druggy were ridiculously bad). I predict he'll be mulling around playing guest roles on TV shows for the next 5 years, and then try and do stuff behind the camera.

2. Michael Angarano--You may know him from his roles as Jack's son on Will and Grace, the starring role in "The Brainiacs.com," Young Red Pollard in "Seabiscuit," or most recently his roles in "Sky High" and "The Forbidden Kingdom." This guy is clearly getting a lot of work. He does indies much more than he does studio pictures, but you bet your ass he tried out for, and wanted the part of Sam in "Transformers." He has the same kind of skinny guy, geeky charm that Shia has, but in my opinion he doesnt have the funniness. He also doesnt have that chaotic, eccentric spark that Shia showed in "Even Stevens" and for instance, "I Robot." Michael does have acting chops though, and a promising career, but just not one where he will get top billing or get cast in an Indiana Jones flick.

3. Ryan Merriman-- You may know him from his Disney Channel Original Movies, "Smart House," "Luck of the Irish," and "Ring of Endless Light." Most recently you may have seen him in "The Ring Two" or "Final Destination 3." He also had a promising young career as he was handsome, earnest and athletic. But frankly he has never really gotten a chance to display real acting chops. Now it looks like he is being very active, filming parts in TV shows, miniseries' and movies, so hopefully he will rise the ranks of former child actors. You can also bet from his "horror genre" experience that he wanted the starring role in "Disturbia," but I guess he also just doesn't have that "Shia spark."

4. Andy Lawrence--The youngest Lawrence brother started out his career as the silliest brother on "Brotherly Love" (a show with a great theme song bee tee dubs). He then graduated to roles in the Disney Channel original movies "Horse Sense," "The Other Me," "Jumping Ship," and "Going to the Mat." He also voiced Mikey on "Recess." He has had a decent career in terms of work load, but as of late, the work is scarce and limited to just guest appearances on television shows, or series that get canceled. He definitely had that silly spark, and he is a good looking guy, but I guess the "Lawrence" surname has given him a stigma that will never make anyone take him seriously ever. I predict more Disney movies.

5. Trevor Morgan-- Started as the geek/cool dude in the Disney Channel movie, "Genius." Later he got some roles as the "cool kid/asshole" in "Barney's Great Adventure" (Ironic no?), then as the "cool kid/asshole" in "The Sixth Sense." He started just playing the geek in movies like "Jurassic Park III" and "The Glass House." but then kept reverting back to that "cool kid/asshole" role in films like HBO's "Empire Falls" and "Mean Creek."Now he is doing guest roles on TV shows, but unless he can escape that "cool guy/asshole" persona (it didnt get him the role in Indiana Jones 4) and try stretching a little bit, I just dont see his career being great. He also is kind of an ugly dude.

6. Bug Hall-- You definitely remember him as the adorable "Alfalfa" in The Little Rascals. You might remember him as one of The Stupids in "The Stupids." I doubt you remember him being the lead in the Disney movie, "Safety Patrol" (which had a cameo by Weird Al--last one I promise!) But thats it. His career has slowed down and the last semi-memorable performance of his was acting opposite the most likely coked up Lindsay Lohan in the Disney Channel Original Movie, "Get a Clue." Now he also has reverted to guest star roles on TV shows. In his youth he definitely had the charm and quirkiness of a Shia LeBeouf, but I guess he just doesnt have it anymore. He also has the name "Bug" which is really stupid.


Thats the six I've come up with so far. What did Shia do right? Well he immediately tried to escape his "Louis Stevens" character on Even Stevens (in my opinion, the funniest/best show ever on The Disney Channel) by playing a retard in a TV movie. He pulled it off very well. Then he decided to ditch Disney (something the Lawrence bros. have yet to do) and be a real actor. He did a great job in Holes (a movie Frankie Muniz passed up to do the god-awful "Cody Banks" flicks--glad that worked out for him...), and balanced doing bit parts in studio flicks like "I Robot" and "Constantine," with big parts in indies like "The Battle of Shaker Heights" and "A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints" (a flick, that as i mentioned before, is very worth your time). The fact that he hasnt really done anything that stupid in his personal life (other than that drunken appearance at a Walgreens at 2 in the morning) helps. He's also, truth be told, a very good actor. I am actually very much looking forward to "Eagle Eye." Check out the trailer, its sick!

OH! By the way I left off one guy who was jealous of Shia LeBeouf's career.....
ME!!!!!!!

Even Stevens WAS my life growing up. I was Louis, the funny nudnik who always got in trouble and liked comedy. My older sister Rena was Ren (!!) the over achieving smarty pants who graduated with the highest honors, but who also was kinda goofy. My little sister was Donny, the "perfect" one who everyone always paid attention to. Both the Stevens mom and my mom are politically active and both the Stevens dad and my dad have weird hobbies!

Anyway, besides that I kinda look like Shia LeBeouf. TWICE I have gotten asked if I was Shia LeBeouf--once in line at Universal Studios, and once at a public school where I tutored and some kid with a speech impediment asked me if I was on "Eben Stebens" and if I played, "Louis Stebens." I guess the fact that we both have the Jewiest hair helps.

I also can be wisecraking/goofy/nervous/cool/physically fit, cant I? CANT I?



Oh well. I'll guess I'll just have to keep heeding my mom's advice and and "be the best ETHAN I can be." It wont enable me to make out with Megan Fox, but at least I am in KARL Improv (woo woo).

In other news--Katy Perry has a hit song in "I Kissed A Girl." Most people like it and find it at least a tiny bit titillating. Now imagine if the song changed genders and became--"I Kissed a Boy." That song would NOT make it on mainstream radio. It might be hilarious, BUT no one would bop their heads to it in the car or sing it drunkenly at parties. In fact, I think that given the homophobia in American society, most men would find themselves uncomfortable listening to the song. And if any man did find himself humming it in the middle of the day, you can bet that at least 4 people will go up to him and barrage him with gay slurs such as "dude, you're so gay" or "dude, I cant believe you're humming that song, that's so gay!" or "Wow dude, you know how I know you're gay?" Anyway--its just a peculiar double standard. Think about it.

Until Tomorrow---