Day 31- I Cant Wait for Anne Hathaway to get pregnant, so the headline of all the tabloid papers will say "Anne Hath-a-baby!"

I just saw a trailer for the new Adam Sandler movie called, "Bedtime Stories." During the trailer, interspersed with scenes from the movie, the voice-over (RIP Don LaFontaine) read, "What if you told a story...and the next day it came to life!" Now obviously this is the plot of this movie, yet another Adam Sandler high concept movie. That's basically how the writers (Matt Lopez and Sandler buddy Tim Herlihy(as in the Herlihy boys)) sold this movie.

For those of you who dont know, a high concept movie is a movie based around a very simple premise that can reach a wide audience. Think most commercial films. Non-high concept movies are typically character driven indies with artistic integrity.

This got me to thinking, there are a lot of high concept movies that were executed very well, and some that were executed very poorly. Here are a couple of examples, and the "pitches" of the movies to the studios.

1. Liar Liar:
Writer: Imagine a world where a LAWYER couldnt lie for a WHOLE DAY! The lawyer...JIM CARREY!
Exec: Lets make a picture! (This exec happens to be from 1930).

I loved Liar Liar (where the message was, "dont lie"). It isnt necessarily the greatest concept, but it didnt matter because in 1997, Jim Carrey was a god. And rightfully so. I dont think anyone else could have done as good of a job as he did, combining the hilarious physical comedy, with the snappy one-liners and get ready for it....heart. Cary Elwes was also great as Maura Tierney's dorky ass suitor (The Claw!), and Jessica Tilly (apparently the best celebrity poker player out there) was fantastically icy cold as the bitchy whore slut. This movie is quoteable, memorable, and certainly stands to test of time.

PROOF: Last year I was hanging out at AEPi in my friend Stephen Golding's room with like 10 other people. We were all sitting around discussing what movie we should watch. We had like 15 choices. If I remember correctly, among the choices were--Wayne's World, The Big Lebowski, Orange County, Ace Ventura, Austin Powers, Men in Black, Liar Liar etc. It took us literally like 25 minutes, but finally we all voted, and it was down to Orange County and Wayne's World. We all voted again and still arrived at a stalemate. Suddenly, someone (maybe T-BAUM'S World?) said, "hey guys--lets just watch Liar Liar." Unanimously it was accepted and put into the DVD player. So the lesson is: Liar Liar--always a good choice.

ps. I wouldnt necessarily say this movie is timeless--now you wouldnt hear any kid say, "I wanna be Jose Conseco!" Unless they want to actually grow up and take illegal growth hormones and then rat out all of their friends who took them too, and bring down Major League Baseball and do it all to make some money cause you were stupid and lost all of yours.



2. Meet the Parents:
Writer: You all have had awkward encounters when you met your girlfriend's parents...am I right? Sure I am! Well this movie is just that! The hero has one weekend to impress his girlfriend's parents, and instead of winning them over, he just gets into one hilarious embarrassing situation after another! And to make it even more painful for the guy, imagine if the girlfriend's dad was ROBERT DeNiro!
Exec: I like it. It's relateable. DeNiro was funny in Analyze This. Let's make a picture!

I LURVE "Meet the Parents." I remember seeing this movie when I was in 7th grade and never laughing harder. And it holds up! I was watching it on TV yesterday and it was still as hilarious as ever. This is one movie that relies on each situation getting progressively worse and hilarious and it does! (unlike Along Came Polly). And the comedy doesnt always come from Ben Stiller screwing up. The schtick with the airline lady trying to book him a seat is damn funny. Anyway-Owen Wilson is gold and this movie is awesome.

On a side note, I heard Charlize Theron tried out for the part of the girlfriend, but was rejected on the grounds that she "wasnt pretty enough." Interesting how the world works out. Charlize--here's your Oscar. Teri Polo (girlfriend) here's your....Meet the Fockers.

3. Jumper:
Writer: Imagine if one guy could just jump and get to anywhere in the world!
Exec: I like it. But does it have a plot?
Writer: It doesnt need one! We'll get Samuel L. Jackson!
Exec: Let's make a picture!

I hated Jumper. Hated it hated it hated it. I've written about it before, so I will not go into detail now. (If you are interested, look it up. The post has a sexy picture of Rachel Bilson on it!)This movie had a wicked cool concept and completely went nowhere with it. And anything with Hayden Christenssen is bad.

4. Snakes on a Plane:
Writer: It's Snakes on a Plane.
Exec: Fair enough. But who will want to do that?
Writer: Samuel L. Jackson
Exec: Fine. Do it.

I saw Snakes on a Plane opening night and it was great fun. Not very scary, very very funny, and very very bad. But it knew it was bad, so it was ok. This movie had everything you wanted it to have. It even did re shoots to add more blood and more boobs! So I really cant complain.

Some of my favorite lines:
Neville Flynn: Everybody listen! We have to put a barrier between us and the snakes!
Man Bitten on Penis: Fucking snake! Get off my dick!

5. Independence Day
Writer: Aliens attack us. Shit goes down.
Exec: Nice. I smell a blockbuster. Get me Jeff Goldblum and you got yourself a picture!

I have nothing bad to say about Independence Day. Any blockbuster movie that features 2 religious Jews as leads that help save the planet has got my vote!

6. Home Alone
Writer: A kid is stuck home alone and sets booby traps for funny robbers
Exec: How cute is this kid?
Writer: Like REALLY cute. Its the kid from "Uncle Buck!"
Exec: I fucking love that kid!
Writer: Me too!
Exec: The best thing about him, is I figure in 10 years he wont be fucked up at all!
Writer: That child actor will turn out comepletely normal!
Exec: We'll release around Christmas! Lets make this movie!

I Love Home Alone. I love Home Alone 2. After I saw those movies I kept trying to create pranks like that at home, but one of them stained our carpet and got my mom really pissed at me and the other one was just getting a paper bag to fall on the head of anyone who entered my room. It was funny the first time. Any readers out there do funny pranks? LET ME KNOW!

Oh--and in terms of this movie being successfully executed--it was the highest grossing live action comedy of all time until Meet the Fockers came out. Now its the second. So I'd say it was pretty successful.

7. The Animal
Rob Schneider: So get this guys! Imagine if I started acting like an animal! Like peeing on mailboxes and humping people's legs!
Adam Sandler: That sounds really stupid.
Rob: C'mon man! I really need to do a movie! I'm like your best friend!
Adam: I know man, but you're not funny.
Rob: C'mon Adam pleeeeease!
Adam: I dunno---
Rob: PLEEEASE! If you do this for me, I promise I'll never ask you to bank roll that movie I have about me pretending to be a girl!
Adam: Fine. I'll let you do this ONE movie! But there's no way in hell I am giving you money to make "The Hot Chick."

8. The Hot Chick
Rob: PLEEEEEEASSSE!
Adam: No man! I said no! I gave you The Animal and no one liked it! Please let it go!
Rob: But Adam, you're my best friend!
Adam: I said no!
Rob: C'mon! If you let me do this I'll only do supporting roles in your movies from now on!
Adam: You realize this movie will make you the laughing stock of Hollywood. You will literally get shit on.
Rob: No I wont! This movie is hilarious!
Adam: Fine. Whatever. Make your stupid movie.
Rob: I wont let you down!

Both of these movies sucked. The lead actress in The Animal was Colleen Haskell, a contestant on Survivor, and even though The Hot Chick was co-written and directed by a guy named Tom Brady, this movie was not at all Super Bowl material.
I will say that I liked Norm McDonald's cameo in "The Animal" though. As much as he asks you to hate him, Norm McDonald is a funny mother fucker. Watch him at the Bob Saget Roast if you dont believe me!

Until Tomorrow--

PS. You ever notice how after you eat a bowl of Fruity Pebbles, you end up hungrier than you were before? The only good part about them, is if you're lucky, it makes your yabba dabba doo colorful!

pps. As if I couldnt get any more like Shia LeBeouf, I'm getting more like Shia LeBeouf! Shia LeBeouf is playing a character named ETHAN in his new movie EAGLE EYE! Take that disbelievers!