Day 42- The Day the World Went Away (but not really)

In Jay Leno Voice: So ahh....David Mamet is in the news today. Did you read about this? Did you hear about this? Apparently he's going to direct a new Anne Frank movie based on her diary.

In regular voice: You know what that means? JOKES!





Anne should have remembered: A B C. A always. B be. C closing. Always be closing. The window. So Nazis dont see her.

I cant wait to see Joe Mantegna and Bill Macy nail their performances as Papa and Mama Frank respectfully.

Even RICKY JAY'S MAGIC couldnt help the Frank family disappear!

Maybe Tarantino will have a directing cameo where the Franks get their revenge by going ape-shit all over the Nazis!

In this cameo Christopher Walken can also do a monologue about how he hid the Franks in his ass.

Maybe Jeremy Piven will sign on to this movie and then quit because his part doesnt involve him yelling into a phone. And he has mercury poisoning.


Sample Mamet Anne Frank dialogue:
Otto (sees Anne looking out the window): ANNE! What-
Anne: What?
Otto: Why are you-
Anne: Looking out the window?
Otto: Yes. Why are you looking out the window?
Anne: Because I was-
Otto: You were--
Anne: Bored. Thats it. Bored
Otto: Bored you say?
Anne: Thats what I said didnt I?
Otto: You were just so fucking bored.
Anne: Well I'm in a fucking attic doing nothing but fucking brushing my hair all day and night.
Otto: Well I'm sorry that hiding from Nazis didnt make it into your fucking daytimer!!
Anne: FUCK YOU!
Otto: FUCK YOU!


ALSO in the news: Michael Douglas' son Cameron again. 2 weeks ago he was arrested for attempting to smuggle crystal meth from New York to LA. He was released on bail, but confined to his mother's Manhattan apartment. He was just arrested though for having his girlfriend smuggle him heroin through...THE BATTERY COMPARTMENT OF AN ELECTRONIC TOOTHBRUSH! Police say they knew something was up when Cameron seemed very nervous and tense about when his toothbrush would arrive.

I dont know if I have anything hilarious to say about this other than its ironic that his dad was in TRAFFIC playing the head of the President's Office of National Drug Control. In the film, unbeknownst to him, his daughter is a huge coke addict. I guess this is yet another example of life imitating art....

LASTLY, some recommendations:
WATCH- Michael and Michael Have Issues--The first episode started a little weak, but it just keeps getting better and better. The banter between the Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter is perfect, and the story lines of each episode are very clever and funny.

LISTEN (to) the COMEDY DEATH RAY RADIO PODCAST on iTunes. For free. It's an hour long comedy show with guests like Andy Samberg, Zach Galifinakis, Aziz Ansari, Jon Hamm, Rob Huebel, Nick Kroll, Paul Scheer, Weird Al and more. Its basically comedians joking around, doing characters, and making fun of Entourage. Which by the way....ABSOLUTELY SUCKS this season. It insults me.

EAT- Food. If you dont, you're going to die.

THIS IS ME AS A CHARACTER ON MAD MEN















Until Tomorrow---